Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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