Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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