do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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