Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
