I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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