i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
