I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
