As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
