i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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