wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
