so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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