Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
