omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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