Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
