I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
