She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
