its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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