Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
