Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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