I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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