I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
