"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize