I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
