Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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