Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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