Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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