Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
