mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
