she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
