i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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