what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
50% drunk capacity currently
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
