So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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