just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
