people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Small penises have feelings too.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
