she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
