I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
