can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
