Will you blow on my dice?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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