I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dignity is for republicans.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
