Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
