guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
