If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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