can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
