how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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