i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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