So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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