he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
