After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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