I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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