I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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