Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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