i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
