Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
