When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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